Introduction
I’m the first to admit it: I’m not a great hugger. So the thought of greeting fellow believers with a kiss can feel overwhelming. Yet Scripture repeatedly commands us to “greet one another with a holy kiss” (1 Cor. 16:20). I have practiced it a few times, but I sense the calling to make it a more standard part of my Christian life. I invite you to join me in pursuing obedience to this ordinance of Scripture, as we consider both the biblical basis for the holy kiss and its significance through early church history.
I. Biblical Foundations
The New Testament explicitly commands a kiss-greeting multiple times:
Romans 16:16 – “Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
1 Corinthians 16:20 – “All the brothers send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
2 Corinthians 13:12 – “Greet one another with a holy kiss.”
1 Thessalonians 5:26 – “Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss.”
1 Peter 5:14 – “Greet one another with the kiss of love.”
Thus five times, the Holy Spirit, through apostolic teaching in the Bible, calls believers to express their unity and affection via a “kiss of love” or “holy kiss.”
II. Why This Command Still Matters
A “Holy” Distinction
In the ancient world, kisses might have been a more common method of greeting than today. But it is important to note that the apostles speak of a holy kiss (1 Thess. 5:26) or kiss of love (1 Pet. 5:14). This language indicates a sanctified greeting, set apart from mere cultural norms. If the command were simply to replicate culture, the New Testament would probably have dropped the adjective “holy.” Instead, the emphasis on holiness signals a God-ordained practice with spiritual import—one not tethered to ancient etiquette.A Deeper Expression of Love
A kiss communicates intimacy and strong affection. While hugs or handshakes can be meaningful, the scriptural emphasis on a kiss emphasizes a strong family bond among believers. Far from mere politeness, the “holy kiss” challenges us to foster a love that goes beyond surface courtesy.Counter-Cultural Witness
When modern culture finds a biblical practice awkward, Christians often dump the command. Yet we believers are called to transform culture rather than submit to it. Greeting one another with a holy kiss of love is one way to be a testimony to and help transform culture.Repeated New Testament Command
Appearing in five separate passages, the injunction to offer a holy kiss was evidently important to the early church. Scripture’s repetition underscores its ongoing significance. If God’s Word has repeated a practice, it likely deserves our careful consideration, not dismissal.Early Church Continuity
From the apostolic era onward, the holy kiss was taught and practiced universally, integrated with some of the highest forms of worship, including the Lord’s Supper. This historical continuity indicates that the early church understood the kiss to be binding and significant, not a temporary or trivial relic of the past.
III. A Sacred, Religious, and Mystical Act: Witness from the Early Church Fathers
The early Christians did not consider the holy kiss to be a mere cultural leftover; rather, they described it as sacred, liturgical, and mystical, deeply bound up with the worship and unity of the church.
Justin Martyr (First Apology 65; ANF 1.85):
“Having ended the prayers, we salute one another with a kiss… [We] offer hearty prayers in common for ourselves and for the baptized person.”
Here, the kiss follows corporate prayer, showing its place as a sacred, unifying act within worship.
Tertullian (On Prayer 18; ANF 3.686):
“What prayer is complete if divorced from the ‘holy kiss?’… What kind of sacrifice is that from which men depart without [the kiss of] peace?”
Tertullian ties the kiss directly to prayer and peace, emphasizing how integral it was to genuine Christian fellowship.
Clement of Alexandria (Instructor 3.7–11; ANF 2.291):
“The apostle calls the kiss holy. … The shameless use of a kiss, which ought to be mystic, occasions foul suspicions and evil reports.”
Clement highlights the kiss as a ‘mystic’ greeting. It must be handled with reverence and purity, rather than approached casually.
Constitutions of the Holy Apostles (2.7.57; ANF 5.422):
“Then let the men give the men, and the women give the women, the Lord’s kiss. But let no one do it with deceit…”
This liturgical guideline refers to it as “the Lord’s kiss,” underscoring its sacred function and holy requirement.
The consistency across multiple early writers demonstrates a clear consensus: the holy kiss was viewed not as cultural garnish but as a divinely ordained practice integral to Christian worship.
IV. Common Objections (with Brief Responses)
“It Was Just Cultural Then.”
Response: The New Testament describes the holy kiss as a sacred act, not merely a cultural one. Early Church Fathers also affirmed it as a religious ordinance rather than a local custom. However, even if one assumes it had cultural origins, this does not justify dismissing the practice. Consider other Christian ordinances: communion stems from the Jewish Passover meal, and baptism may have ties to Jewish ceremonial washings. Yet Christians uphold these practices as holy and binding. Similarly, believers should not abandon the holy kiss simply because it may have cultural roots.
“It’s Awkward in My Culture.”
Response: Christian discipleship often embraces counter-cultural practices, such as loving enemies or washing each other’s feet. With care and respect for moral boundaries (e.g., men kiss men, women kiss women), a holy kiss can be a moving testimony of Christian unity.
“A Handshake or Hug Is Good Enough.”
Response: While these greetings convey warmth, Scripture’s specificity about a “holy kiss” suggests an elevated, more intimate expression of brotherly and sisterly love. Willfully substituting a handshake or hug instead of the holy kiss is not only disobedience, but demoting an expression of deep love for one that its comparably more superficial.
“It May Lead to Temptation.”
Response: Any holy practice can be abused. We do not discard the Lord’s Supper because it can be taken unworthily (1 Cor. 11:27). Instead, we observe biblical guidelines: purity of thought and intention.
V. Practical Tips for Getting Started
Pray for Guidance and Wisdom
Ask the Lord to soften your heart and guide you in ways to implement this practice with reverence, purity, and sincerity.Emphasize the Heart, Not Just the Form
Ensure the holy kiss is an overflow of genuine love, unity, and Christian brotherhood. A mere ritual is empty; a holy kiss rooted in heartfelt affection is powerful.Begin in Safe, Trustworthy Environments
Perhaps start with small gatherings of mature believers who understand the biblical rationale. Teach them first, modeling how a reverent, chaste kiss looks.Incorporate It into Times of Worship or Prayer
As Justin Martyr and others suggest, the kiss can follow communal prayer or precede the Lord’s Supper, highlighting its sacred context.
Conclusion
Far from a quaint cultural relic, the “holy kiss” stands as a recurring New Testament command that the early church deemed both sacred and central to worship. It challenges us to foster deeper bonds of intimacy and holiness in the body of Christ—a testimony to a watching world that we are, indeed, one family, united in love. May we ask God for the grace and courage to follow His Word fully, embracing even this sometimes uncomfortable practice in the spirit of reverence and purity that He intended. “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” (1 Cor. 16:20)
Note: Scripture is taken from the New King James Version ®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.